August 8, 2011

Profesh.

While working from home today because of my busted up back, I had to be dialed into our all-team (>50 people) status meeting this morning

Naturally, while I was midway through a big project update, one of my heat pads exploded in the microwave.

Naturally.

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May 14, 2010
  • Professional Proposal-Stapler: Do you consider cheesecake more of a CAKE or more of a PIE?
  • Professional Bullet-Pointer: Hmmm.... more of a cake.
  • Professional Proposal-Stapler: Well. I consider it more of a pie.
  • Both: .......
  • Professional Proposal-Stapler: Do you think we can still be friends?
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May 13, 2010

If Only Abe Lincoln Had Enjoyed A Frappuccino……

Professional Proposal-Stapler’s comment in a post-Frappucino happy hour Starbucks survey:

There has been a lot of turnover lately and I would like them to hire more black people, there used to be a lot of black people there and now they are all white. I choose to go to this starbucks over the one equidistant from my office because the staff is (was) friendly but not obnoxiously friendly. Now everyone is white and i think they are going to turn into passive aggressive pricks. Please hire more black people asap so my faith in this starbucks can be restored.

p.s. I’m white
p.p.s I’m serious.

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“ I reeeeally need a pool party right now.
Big Boss
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May 4, 2010
  • Web Dev Princess: Look! Look!
  • Web Dev Princess: //fake hangs herself with long licorice rope.//
  • Professional Bullet-Pointer: You're hilarious. Suicide is so funny.
  • Web Dev Princess: Well. If you don't laugh about it, it won't go away!
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May 3, 2010
“ I’m not very nice but I’m not going to try to put razor blades in your brownie or anything. Jesus!
Professional Proposal-Stapler
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April 30, 2010
“ I don’t want to be around someone who won’t try to lick their armpit when challenged. It’s my golden rule.
Web Dev Princess
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“ There are a lot of problems in America: teen pregnancy, smoking, drug abuse… A big one is wearing your pajamas out in public!
Web Dev Princess
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April 29, 2010
“ So help me God - if there is a red solo cup within one mile of my marriage proposal…
Professional Proposal-Stapler, just thinking ahead.
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  • Professional Proposal-Stapler: I think the Quad Cities might have the most Bryces per capita.
  • Professional Bullet-Pointer: There were actually two Bryces in my high school graduating class.
  • Professional Proposal-Stapler: It reminds me of celery.
  • Professional Bullet-Pointer: They were both jerks.
  • Professional Proposal-Stapler: How could you not be a jerk? It's like naming your kid Lacey - you're fucked.
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